10 icky habits men should seriously STOP doing

We all appreciate how comfortable men feel in their own skin.
They beat women at it, and never at any point made us felt uncomfortable around them, just because they're being themselves 100% of the time.
Which is great, but not when you’re in the middle of a black tie dinner and your man decides to burp (claiming that he thought it would be a more “silent” one).
No matter how many times you imply, or even bluntly tell them that you don’t like it when they do that, they think it’s human nature and “you shouldn’t stand in nature’s way, just to look good infront of your friends!”.
Well, if you’re a man reading this, WE BEG YOU PLEASE STOP DOING THE FOLLOWING (at least in public)

1 - The Grand Escape:
And that applies to letting one out (both farting and belching). We all have gas, but you don’t see any women raising up one leg just to let one slip away.
You don’t see us burping after we chug down that Coke, because we learned how to do that SILENTLY.
It’s not funny, and no we won’t guess what you had for dinner!

2 - Pee Aiming Game:
There’s a reason why we want you to lift up those seats. I'm sure aiming at that –what appears to be- HUGE hole is not easy, but you’ve been practicing ever since you were 3, so why on earth is there a puddle of piss on my bathroom floor?

3 - Nose Exploration:
It’s not picking, it’s digging. It’s like men are on a mission to widen their nostrils! Men in BMW’s or even Lada’s do it, and aren’t ashamed of it (FYI being in your car DOES NOT make you invisible, we CAN see you).
Tissue paper has no value to men like these.

4 - The Squat:
Girls don’t understand male anatomy, simply because they don’t have the whole “kit” down there, but I'm sure even if they did have “it” they wouldn’t go on and adjust it right there infront of everyone.
This freaks us out, it’s like men are checking to see if everything is still there or not and so tend to squat and fondle their tools! PLEASE DO IT IN PRIVATE, YOU DON’T SEE US TOUCHING OUR “GIRLS” ALL THE TIME NOW, DO YOU?

5 - TPI:
Also known as Tissue Paper Investigation. TPI consists of 3 main steps, getting out an old, wrinkly piece of TP, blowing your brains out in it, and then checking to see if actual body parts fell out or not.
I don’t understand what you’re looking for in there, and I'm SURE that if you do find it, you won’t put it back in your nose!

6 - Spitting:
Although this doesn’t apply to all men, but to those who think it makes you manlier, YOU’RE ABUSING THE PRIVELAGE! FYI, spit CAN be swallowed and is NOT toxic.
You will NOT die if spit stays in your mouth, and spit does NOT intend to harm you, so PLEASE when you feel like spitting again, either do it SECRETLY in a tissue paper or swallow!

7 - Ear Bush:
you’re a man, we get it! Most men think they should groom themselves only when they REALLY have to. Cream is a female product, and nose/ ear trims are un-necessary until they can’t hear themselves think.
Well, newsflash bro, the only bush we like to see, is the one in DC (and not even him!). Oh, and ever heard of ear buds?

8 - Splits:
I'm glad you decided to spend more than 1 minute on styling your hair today in the bathroom, and I really like the new hair cut, but all I’m asking for here is 15 seconds out of your precious time to WASH THE SINK AFTER YOU’RE DONE, its full of tiny hair splits.

9 - Toothpaste suicide:
you know when you squeeze that tube of paste on to your tooth brush and that “pea size” blob commits suicide right off your brush? Well, women wash it off instantly because if it dries out, it’ll stick on there for a while, but men like to leave the “crime scene” un-touched.
Again. All I'm asking for here is to …. Yes that’s right, WASH THE SINK.

10 - Butt picking: enough said!
Men, we love you, even when you’re gross and TOO comfortable around us, but please try to understand that we’re a bit different.
Farts belong in the bathroom, not in a fart guessing game with friends. Burps remain in our system, not out there for everyone to smell.
And finally, just when you think no one is watching, they probably are, so please care about stuff like that, just like we do.