My Classical Egyptian Wedding VS. The Royal Wedding

The whole world watched the Royal Wedding attentively.
Girls’ taking notes for their future big day, others day dreamt of what it would feel like to marry a prince, some mourned the loss of Prince William’s availability but rejoiced the fact that Prince Harry wasn’t seeing anyone, and some girls were too realistic to even care about the whole ordeal.
Even the guys watched but were too hooked on the cars, the Beckhams, and Pippa Middleton the lovely bridesmaid.
What they all had in common? They were part of the wedding of the century, the wedding that captured 2 billion viewers worldwide, and that entailed a modern love story ending in marriage.
When I stopped to think about our cultural differences and how two people in one of part of the world celebrate tying the knot, I realized that my wedding (according to current trends and tradition) wouldn’t be much different than the royal wedding when you stop to think about it.

For example: My Egyptian Wedding

1- Transportation:
A white rental Jeep or a borrowed Beemer, both being entirely covered in semi-wilting red roses, tulle, and curly ribbons (glitter is optional)

2 - Grooms outfit:
Black/silver suit with thick white stripes, no satin, white dress shirt with black buttons, red puffy cravat (commonly referred to as “Folar”), a red vest, and a thick satin waist belt (similar to sumo wrestlers outfit).

3 - Best man outfit:
Whatever falls out of the closet that day, just because Egyptians are always in a hurry and don’t really have time to “pick” a suit.

4 - The venue:
A 4 or 5 star hotel’s ball room, usually named after something luxurious or Italian like “Diamond” or “Bellissimo”.
Heavily decorated with flowers (in the centerpieces), tulle, ribbons (around the chairs), baby lights (scattered everywhere), and candles. Average spending on décor: 3,000- 10,000 LE.

5 - Security:
3am Saleh, 3am Abdullah, and Abo Ahmed will be guarding the event and valet parking as well.
They might appear in our wedding video though as they sit at the back to eat and watch us dance. Average cost: 50 LE each + a piece of the cake.

6 - The dress:
MUST HAVE beads and tulle. A bolero might be required or Carina just in case arms shouldn’t show.
Should be designed by a famous local designer like Nadia El Sheikh regardless if I like her styles or not, and definitely a huge wedding dress hoop (aka “Jibona”). Average cost: 5,000- 20,000 LE

7 - The band:
Which one exactly? In Egypt, there’s the “zaffa” (aka the walk down the aisle), my least favorite part of the wedding that consists mainly of 15 people I don’t know carrying noisy instruments and slurring out hate speech, wearing stinky galabeyas and sometimes deodorant.
Anyone performing in the zaffa, are not just for dancing, they pretend to be your friends, carry HUGE candelabras over the heads while they sit there and smile as wax falls on their forehead, they also pretend to be thoroughly choreographed while instead keep looking at each other for instructions the whole time, and the guy with the BIGGEST drum manages to annoy everyone standing by banging it right next to their ears.
“Zaghareet” are Big in Egypt; they’re the most common/best way to express joy. In my opinion that’s what the Royal Wedding was missing.
“Zaghareet” are usually done by moving your tongue from side to side while screaming at the same time (don’t worry it’s not mad cow disease).
The groom, eyeballing me throughout the whole evening thinking “man, tonight’s gonna be a good night” -in Arabic of course.

8 - The cake:
8 tiers, white/pink/red, Natural soily flowers at the top, cut with a huge, Braveheart sword, and accompanied with the “Cake Show”.
The cake show starts when the maitre de pretends to be your friend as well, carrying a tiny fork with a piece of the cake and watches as you and your groom bite at the tiny piece TOGETHER.
Basically facilitating a kiss infront of hundreds of people there that day (wink wink).
Unless you scream “I don’t want the friggin cake”, he’ll probably think you want that kiss/bite/ cake but too shy to ask.
The Royal Wedding

1 - Transportation:
Bentley for the groom, Rolls Royce for the bride, a Jaguar for the mother in law, and an Aston Martin for the happy couple as they leave.

2 - Grooms outfit:
Red long jacket, with a blue “beauty pageant” sash, black pants with satin strips along the side, and a policemen hat (aka the military uniform).

3 - Best man outfit:
Similar to groom’s military uniform, just black with gold curtain tie backs all over.

4 - The venue:
Westminster Abbey first then a ballroom as well, this time it’s Buckingham Palace. Average spending on décor/ flowers: $800,000.

5 - Security:
Thousands of police officers and armed military personnel guarded the event. Aircraft circled the air after the ceremony as a form of celebration Average cost: $32 million.

6 - The dress:
Very delicate lace detail, taffeta, and definitely NO hoop. Arms shouldn’t show hence the tulle/lace sleeve.
Designed by Sarah Burton (Alexander McQueen’s creative director). Average cost: $450,000.

7 - The band:
William and Kate hired the London Chamber Orchestra to take them down the aisle. Consisting of 39 highly talented musicians, conducted by the famous Christopher Warren- Green.
As if that wasn’t enough, the Westminster Abbey choir composed of 20 boys and 12 adult singers.
The chapel royal choir consists of 10 children and six adult singers therefore creating the perfect harmony. Silence filled the hall as Kate walked down that aisle grasping her father’s arm.
Prince William was not allowed to look at his bride until she reached the altar and stood right next to him.

8 - The cake:
Designed by Fiona Cairns was eight tiers, covered in cream and white icing, decorated with 900 sugar-paste flowers, and was positioned in the center of Buckingham Palace.
It took 5 weeks to create the masterpiece fruit cake that impressed viewers worldwide.
Prince William ordered another cake for the ceremony from McVities, a chocolate biscuit one that was made with an old royal recipe.

The list can go on forever; the differences are so different yet so similar somehow.
But the one thing I realized that truly matters, no matter which part of the world you live in, or whether you’re royalty or not, is true love.
If you have the love of your life standing next to you on the altar that day, that’s all you need because when the party ends, and the noise disappears into the night, you’ll be left with a long life filled with nothing but intimacy, affection, trust, and love for that man that swept you off your feet that day.
Cakes, cars, centerpieces, and dresses are not what you need for a fairy tale ending; true love will get you that happy ending you’ve always dreamed of.